My life, a diary in the making part.

It was summer of 1999, we had a lot to be thankful for, I was pretty passionate about my faith and filled with joy, spunk, and hope. I was at church one weekend and after a great Sunday morning at church we were leaving, and in the foyer of the church an older lady walked up to me and said with a smile on her face "you have a lot of passion and FIRE for the Lord, but that will go away someday". She was totally serious and went on her way. At that moment I was thinking, there is no way I will never let that happen, I am going to stay this way for the rest of my life. Well a part of me was also thinking how in the world could she say that to me? What makes her be so negative about my life and future relationship with God? Well to tell you the truth I don't think she was speaking negative into my life, I believe she was prophesying over my future.

How unfortunate but over the last several years I have had some trouble getting that passion and fire moving for the Lord. Why? Well things in my life left me with no time. That does happen sometimes, we just become busy. The main problem however is that my wife and I have a heart for ministry and we always have, we love to see people grow in their gifts and to move in God, but we have had some problems finding a place to do that. In the past several years we were unable to find a place to really set down roots. Most of the time pastors don't want the help, oh they may say they want the help, fact is they are so overwhelmed with all they have to do that they have little time to be able to mentor leaders in the church and grow the ministry staff. So they don't want help even though they need it. In their heart they have little trust to give to other people with their sheep, and they want leaders to jump through so many hoops to prove they are worthy to be in the ministry that it becomes discouraging and overbearing. Fact is, that ministry can be a little messy and as a pastor they should be able to handle problems that arise. If they took a tenth of their time and mentored a leader they would not have to be concerned with trust issues, but they don't. So needless to say I was a little discouraged by the different places we were at, we would offer to help in any capacity and get nowhere. One district over sear of a denomination even tried to use me to overthrow one of his older leaders at a church by placing me in there next to the pastor to see if he would leave the church, (once I found this out, we left). So I did lose what I once had, and I had no idea on how to get back there at that place. The place next to my best Friend Jesus Christ, excited for Him and what He was doing. All I could do was to wait and see what was next. One thing I learned, sometimes people may say things to you that seem odd, but if I get to the place that I want to reject these and claim them as the devils work, and all the other things we discount them as, we could be missing what God may be trying to accomplish. So come back and I will get to the rest tomorrow. Be blessed.