my life, a diary in the making part 2.

It was about a month later in the year 1997, after the encounter with the spirit living in my house. I had not seen it since that night. But things had not gotten any better at home either. One night I was driving down national road on route 40 toward my house when I was absolutely crushed by the verse hanging on a sign in front of the big stone church on the right side, as you are coming into the city of St. Clairsville. The sign read "before I placed you in your mothers womb I knew you". It was out of the book of Jeremiah and the passage that I would be called from in a few years. All of a sudden I could not drive I almost wrecked the car, I could not understand what was happening to me all the things that I had done in my life were surfacing feeling like I was going to die. Gasping for breath, I could not see, broken in tears and in heart I felt like I had just let down the biggest person in my life that I never even knew. What was happening to me? All I knew is that the thoughts of committing suicide were getting even stronger and I was trying to find an excuse to commit the final act.

A few months later in 1997, July to be exact, when I was invited to attend a conference at three rivers stadium that it all finally broke loose. My marriage was over and my wife was at the end of her rope in trying to deal with me through this whole thing. See she got rededicated to Jesus Christ in the year before and had me on 6 prayer chains for 9 months up to this point (I did not know this at the time). Being asked to go to this conference was really her way of setting me up, so I thought. So at the last minute the bus was leaving and I told her that I was not going to go. She said that if I did not go that I needed to leave the family. The kids were terrified of me and the problems were just getting worse. So I decided I had no choice but to surrender. The church that took me to the conference was very kind and respected the fact that I did not want to be there. So they left me alone for the most part (besides I was a pretty mean guy at the time). So as we got there my attitude got really bad, as one of the guys with me said where shall we sit? I said if I have to be here, I want to be in the crows nest. If you know anything about three rivers stadium that is clear at the top with the pigeons. Promise Keepers 1997 had a lot of good preachers but I remember none of them. All I remember is I was sitting there in the top seats and all of a sudden I got up from the seat and walked to the front of the platform. I don't know how I got there but a few guys I was with told me that, they watched me the whole time and then I arrived down front. This was about to be the second time God ever spoke to me He said " you have nothing left, I have brought you this far, it has all been taken away from you" Then I heard the guy in front of me say "well son what will it be? are you going to accept Christ as your Lord and Savior?" I thought well I got nothing to lose, I sure will and that was the beginning. So if you are praying for someone keep it up God will hear that prayer and will act in His timing, Be blessed all and Stay tuned for the next part in my life a diary in the making.